I did something bad.
I’ve had this feeling that Henri has been making moves on his spare time with other women. I haven’t gotten the vibe that he has slept with another woman, but something was happening that he doesn’t want to tell me about. Despite having Henri’s blessing to do what I wish with Sir Dre, I still carry feelings of guilt because it feels like I’m leaving Henri behind somehow. And I know, I’ve heard it before: “He’ll do it on his own time…don’t worry about him!” But as his wife, best friend, and mother to his child, it gives me the right and predisposition to worry. So, I did the ultimate typical wife/girlfriend move: I looked through his phone.
It was a very naughty thing to do.
I found a text message thread from a woman who was calling him ‘baby.’ Hmm…she seems pretty comfortable calling him ‘baby.’ I kind of shut down, like the catatonic type shut down. I didn’t know how else to react, and plus I knew he would be angered if he knew how I had found out. So I remained quiet, just processing this new piece of information. It didn’t bother me that he was talking to another woman. I thought “Finally! He’s making moves!” The ‘baby’ part kind of had me thrown for a second, but he wasn’t saying it back, so I figured she just felt at ease saying it. The issue that was boiling in my mind until 2 am was the fact that perhaps he’s had sex with this woman and hadn’t told me. I have been open about my conquests, and more than open with my relationship with Sir Dre. I know he loves me, but why not trust me?
I finally went to sleep with the thought that maybe he just needed to have a secret. I know what it feels like to want to break monotony. This could be his way and I had to say to myself that I love him, and if that is what he wants, I should respect it. But by the morning, I was still thinking about the text message. I called Chloe and she told me I should just come clean. I went to speak to Henri, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that I saw the text messages. Instead I told him that I love him, and I want to be selfish and know everything about what he does concerning other women. But I know he loves me, and I love him so much that if he needs to have secrets, I’m okay with it because I know he would never do something to hurt me or our marriage. Whenever he felt comfortable talking to me, I will be available to listen.
And then Friday evening, he told me about the woman in the text message. Her name is D, she is married and knows that he is married, but has been skeptical about the Agreement. The closest he has gotten to sex with her is a lap dance, which also happens to be her profession. Yes, my quiet workaholic husband got himself a stripper.
I couldn’t be more proud!
Unfortunately, he tells me that he is going to leave D alone, because she said the words that you never want to hear when participating in this kind of agreement:
“I wish you weren’t married.”
She admitted that she starts to develop feelings for people rather quickly, and Henri also stated that she wants to be courted before having sex. Basically, she goes against everything Henri and I have spoken on to making this Agreement work.
I came clean today about looking through his phone, although I know he knew. All he told me was not to ever do it again. And apparently my ‘punishment’ is going to be a massive face fucking where I “suffocate with the taste of cock in the back of my throat.” I can’t wait to be punished. And here, I introduce you to my soul mate, the one who holds the instrument of torture between his beautifully sculpted legs.
I have been pulled inside out this week. What began a few months ago as a fun venture is turning into a life changing experience for both of us. But we continue to be there for each other. He is everything to me, and I love this man so much. “In our wildest moments, we could be the greatest, we could be the greatest. Baby in our wildest moments, we could be the worst of all.”
P.S: I told Sir Dre the whole story, and He believes Henri went too easy on me. He is debating whether or not to give me His own punishment. xxx