Try a little tenderness 


Most days, this is my inner-response when Henri pushes for sex. He insists, I resist. I give in every so often, just to release some steam from his pot. I have remained adamant that I will not enjoy myself unless he gives me something to enjoy. There was a time that the mere view of a dick sent my pussy into overdrive. That is no longer the case. Maybe I’m dumb for thinking this or even writing this, but even though we are married, I want to be wooed. I want to be chased; I want that over-the-top rose petals on the bed, tapered candles, champagne, bubble bath, strawberries and whipped cream romance. A massage would be nice, and a very long cunnilingus session that results in more than one climax. Jeez at least he used to aim for one; now, it’s been four years and counting since I’ve been brought to spasms by oral sex (sadly, niether he nor any other man has made that happen).

I would pray but I wouldn’t know exactly what to pray for. Better sex? A better relationship? Can one exist without the other? No, I don’t think so. So far, the interactions between us are fairly well. We talk, hug, and kiss; the normal husband/wife things that husbands and wives do. We make jokes and carry conversations about the environment, the future and politics (don’t get me started on Trump). From one standpoint, we are much better now than we were five months ago. But I can’t shake the fear that if we can’t find a way to better our sex life, we will end up in the same place we started.

I think I’m moving backwards somehow. I turned 30 last month and while so many other women told me that this is when they reached their sexual peak, mine is waning tremendously. I’m starting to think that old saying is true: If you don’t use it, you lose it. Still waiting for the dirty thirties to kick into high gear (at least shift into first gear). I’m going to fetch me a drink and listen to this song on replay. Consider it nostalgia at 1 in the morning.

4 thoughts on “Try a little tenderness 

  1. I wish it wasn’t so, I wish I was the only one who had this type of marriage. I have been in mine for 13years and I do truly love him. But because the sex is 2 minutes of squelching noises, then I resort to other means to keep me happy. I dont have to keep him happy, I know he is. I have to keep me happy. Its a dirty little clandestine secret, I risk ruining everything but I do it to keep me and my marriage happy.

    • Scarlett Dubois

      I used to do that but after our huge argument in March, I just said screw it. If I could I will try to keep him sexually content; but I wasn’t going to lie or fake being so myself. I couldn’t go back down that road again, at least not for now. xxx

  2. Do you woo him? Do you dress up sexy and do all the things you used to do for him?

    Men need to be wooed too, if for no other reason than to learn how to again so they can return the favor.

    • Scarlett Dubois

      For years I did and I received little to no response minus an erect penis and 5 minutes of sex. Why should I do it now when he has made me feel so small? The feeling to want to do it is currently gone and I reserve the right to feel the way I feel. So no, I don’t do it because not only did he never respond to it like I have asked him to, he did not appreciate it. Trust when I say I have wooed. I’m wooed out. xxx

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